[ yeah, that's going to do it. nick looks a little like he's just been punched in the gut and a lot like he's trying to pretend he wasn't. it's just a little too raw to look at memories like that right now, not after--everything. last night. ]

Fourteen, I think. I don't know, I--kissed him all the time, you know, on the cheek, on the face. I don't really remember the first time it was anything more.

[ he does, of course. nick very clearly remembers the freezing cold night and how he'd laughed as he made excuses to bundle up next to august, and he remembers the calculated way he wrapped an arm around his neck, and the way august had touched his cheek just before he kissed him. but nick already sounds hoarse just saying that much, and he's pretty sure that he's not going to be able to keep choking this back much longer if he doesn't shut the fuck up soon. ]