[ it's good, sharing the drink between them. it keeps nick at a leisurely pace, social drinking and not just downing the bottle thoughtlessly — even if he's regretting not pre-gaming a little, only because he wants to get to drunk a lot faster than he will like this. he's patient though, waits for the bottle to come back to him without his fingers itching too uch to reach out for it early. ]
Baking, God, if you figure it out you've got to clue me in. It's all a mystery to me.
[ magic is a good topic though, nice and safe. nick can smile and actually mean it, because he's been working very hard, actually, even if he'd hate to admit it. ]
It's like--I mean it's going slow, I haven't like, actually tried to learn anything new in years, but it's cool, right? Like, getting better or whatever, I like it. Maybe I should've stayed in school.
[ Cellar gets it, self-deprecating laughter for her culinary shortcomings. Her mother did try, but little carried over when she left for college and it became practically null under Raíz's roof. They have all the food they need, plus all the food that they don't. The blue-eyed cosmic horror wants her children to have every treat, so there's plenty for Nick to raid when she manages to invite him over. Maybe he could convince Queen to lean into the plant side of his abilities in return. (#doubt) ]
I know, right? Might as well be witchcr—
[ Wait. She frowns and shakes her head. ]
Never mind.
[ Back to the real topic, for now. Cellar clears her throat after a double-dip of vodka; it's all Nick's again. ]
Can you go back? Well — whenever you leave this place, anyway. You didn't get kicked out of school, did you?
I didn't burn my bridges, but they weren't great terms I left on. Besides, they don't exactly have adult G.E.D. services set up for magical boarding schools.
[ nick is long past this topic stinging — it's been years, and anyway he made his choices — but there's always a part of him that wonders what if. of course there is, how could he not? but he's already spent too much time mulling in what if's lately, so he just shrugs and punctuates his sentence with a swig.
and another, and a quicker third for good measure before cellar gets it back. ]
No, when I get back I'm just going to just...go back to my apartment and throw a huge fucking party, that'll do me. [ he shifts in a little closer, ineffective since they're already pretty much pressed by each other's sides, but nick tries to burrow in a little closer all the same. ] What about you, what's your like--big to-do list items when you get back?
[ Her expression changes, like every sentiment in Nick's words is felt as her own, ever talented at finding veins that connect with the ones from her past. There's a life she can't go back to, a family she's all but cut herself off from, all for a wish she can't remember making. It's selfish to compare, annoying to suggest there's always some way to fix things; it may be the kind thing to say, but it's also something cruel to lie about.
Cellar wraps her arms around him, one across his chest, squeezing with her shoulders inched up. Nick talks about throwing a party and makes it sound like a lonely affair. (She should probably stop projecting.) The bottle is hers again, but it'll have to wait, carefully balanced on her lap and against her stomach. ]
[ there's a temptation of his own, to say that there must be more, that can't be all there is, but optimism escapes him right now. nick knows his own life too well to say with any certainty that there has to be something better that she's going to return home to.
instead he just hugs her back, arm slung around her waist, and it's very, very hard to smile at all, actually. ]
I'd invite you, if I could. If we work out how, you're top of the guest list.
Thanks, Nick. [ A kiss to the top of his head. ] I'm gonna make you visit me, FYI.
[ Now that'd be a party. She already promised Theo she'd find him in this life or his next; she's got about a century and then a perfectly regular amount of time after to do all that. Thing is it's a promise that hinges on no guarantees; this place is a convergence of every other place, seems like, and something tells her she and her roommate didn't step in through the same door. ]
Theo's magic, too. He's also trying to learn. [ And being held back by someone else's spell. ] Want me to ask if he's looking for a study buddy?
Yeah. Yeah, that's a good idea, we're actually...working on something for him at the moment.
[ he's not being intentionally vague, so much as nick has no idea how much of it all everyone is aware of. secrets aren't his to share, and pierce established long before any of them arrived that a snitch was basically the worst thing that a person could be in their eyes.
but, a vague enough mention that cellar will presumably be able to put together the dots on what magical problem nick might be referring to, nonspecific enough that it'll mean nothing if she doesn't. ]
It's- well, me and August.
[ except for the part where nick can't even say his name without having to sound the syllables out carefully, so he's not sure how he's supposed to go back to magical problem solving, but...he'll figure it out. ]
[ That makes her perk up. She knows Theo's plight and is quick to jump to the conclusion that they're gonna fix it. Cellar could thank Nick and August for even being willing to try, ask if there's something she can do, but that's getting ahead of herself. Her heart's beating a little faster regardless. ]
Oli? I think so, yeah. Theo mentioned knowing someone with that name.
[ And that he looked just like Theo before his first death. ]
That's great, Nick. I'm — that makes me really happy. I hope you guys find a way.
[ well. that pretty much puts that issue to bed, because there's no way that nick isn't going to figure out a way to swallow down his issues now. she had just perked up so quickly — and it's not like nick hadn't had an idea of what breaking this deal might mean for theo before, but it hits home in a different way, seeing cellar happy just at the thought that nick and august might be able to fix it.
he'd be lying if he tried to claim there isn't a stubborn and very annoying lump in his throat that he can't quite work around, but that's--a problem for another day, for nick to figure out how to live with. for now he just finds her hand to give it a squeeze, smiling in a way that he hopes is reassuring. ]
If there's a way to fix it, we'll figure it out, promise.
[ and then he's breaking the mood by going back to reaching for the vodka, because nick is not drunk enough yet by far. ]
[ Her way of saying it isn't about her. She has a solution, too, one that would cost Theo a century and save everyone else a lot of trouble, but Cellar doesn't know if she could do that to him. Or is her hesitation is the selfish part?
[ maybe he should. it feels cruel to bring the matter up before they have anything concrete to work with, but maybe assurances would be enough. nick doesn't know. at any rate, he's at least steeled in his resolve to check his personal issues at the door. there are bigger matters at hand here than whether or not nick got his feelings hurt for no reason. ]
Yeah, we go back. Pierce and Oli, I've known them since school, Marco a little before. August...we were kids together. I think--well I'm pretty sure I'd be a mess if they weren't all here.
[ he loves all of them, he really does. that much is beyond clear every time nick talks about his friends.
another slug, totally unrelated, and then he's holding the bottle out again — not particularly pushy, if cellar doesn't take it back then nick is happy to just...keep drinking himself. ]
[ She takes it back, drinks, makes a face, then thinks that they could really use some snacks. ]
Be right back.
[ Releasing Nick from the arm around his back, bottle in his possession for the nth time, Cellar hops off the bed to rummage through some drawers. Pretzels and pringles, tossed onto the mattress before she follows suit, have their packages open and placed between where they're sat. Cellar crosses her legs, feet under her thighs. The first chip goes in her mouth. ]
I get it. I know this place isn't exactly paradise, but… I'm not gonna pretend I don't wish my people were here, too.
[ She looks over her shoulder, smiling. ]
I didn't know you and August 've been together that long. That's really cool.
Yeah. Friends, I mean. That's all. Just, you know, like- best friends.
[ nick knows he jumped in too quick, a knee jerk reaction that he can't stop from tumbling out, and then the rest of the sentence just sort of fumbles his way out. god knows there's every chance that cellar wasn't even implying anything at all.
it's easy enough to shut his mouth up with the bottle though, tipping his head back for a longer swig. it doesn't really help, but the bitter bite of alcohol in the back of his throat is a good distraction, and it's a better excuse for why he needs to cough and clear his throat than anything that nick could have come up with. ]
[ it's a blessing and a curse — cellar has the grace not to press him on that monumental stumble, but the topic isn't changing. he's reluctant to hand over the safety of the bottle, nick might never recover if he does something as embarrassing as tear up without even a paltry excuse for why, but he holds it out anyway, mostly because he doesn't have a good enough reason for saying no. ]
I was being nosy. I heard my parents talking about a kid around my age up at the Moreau place, I wanted to see who it was. It was--so stupid actually, I pretended to fall off my bike so I had an excuse to go up to the house. He wasn't so quiet, back then.
[ nick doesn't particularly want to eat, his stomach is churning too much for that, but he grabs a bag to fumble with opening it, just to give his hands something to do. ]
[ it's actually a testament to how pathetic nick has been since even the very beginning, but nick is aware that that's an uncharitable thought towards himself at best, downright mean at worst, so he just nods along to 'cute' instead. ]
His mom answered. I think she was just happy she'd found him a friend so quickly, I don't think August even got a choice before he was getting shoved off to hang out with me. And then I decided we were going to be best friends, and...we were. It was simple.
[ 'was' being the operative word there, but he tries not to stress it too much. ]
[ Well, that's gonna make her uncross her legs for a bit, reach over to cup his face and kiss him on the cheek. She swings back to sit again. Here comes the figurative gunshot to the chest, Nick. ]
[ yeah, that's going to do it. nick looks a little like he's just been punched in the gut and a lot like he's trying to pretend he wasn't. it's just a little too raw to look at memories like that right now, not after--everything. last night. ]
Fourteen, I think. I don't know, I--kissed him all the time, you know, on the cheek, on the face. I don't really remember the first time it was anything more.
[ he does, of course. nick very clearly remembers the freezing cold night and how he'd laughed as he made excuses to bundle up next to august, and he remembers the calculated way he wrapped an arm around his neck, and the way august had touched his cheek just before he kissed him. but nick already sounds hoarse just saying that much, and he's pretty sure that he's not going to be able to keep choking this back much longer if he doesn't shut the fuck up soon. ]
[ But he doesn't. Sound very fond of that memory? And he's talking about them being best friends now, which obviously means they broke up. That deserves a different tone of aw, but at least they kept their friendship. (Wow Cellar ur so smart with all these assumptions haha) ]
[ nick can't help it, he actually laughs, and the sound is so bleak and pitiful that it's barely a transition at all when he hiccups into half a sob right at the end. just a little bit, choked down as quickly as it rises, but unmistakably there. ]
Yeah, no, that's- that's not happening. Don't— it's actually fine, you know?
[ this would probably be much more believable if nick didn't have his hand jammed over his mouth, words half muffled through his fingers. he's just--been trying really hard not to be so fucking sad about this, but it's getting harder and harder as each hour passes. he isn't crying, which feels like some small achievement at least, but there's no denying that he's right on the precipice. ]
We just...I don't know, I got the wrong idea, I guess. I knew, really, so I don't know why I said anything.
[ Yeah, she's taking that bottle and putting it on the bedside table now. Get out of here. Cellar crouches and sits on her legs next, taking one hand, then the other. He doesn't have to make eye contact, but she doesn't want him to think he has to hide. Voice softening, ]
[ nick doesn't want a sympathetic ear and a kind touch, not for a situation so entirely idiotic and of his own making — but he does, really, is the thing. nick has been choking this back on his own all day now, and as awful as he feels, there is some relief in finally just saying it. he just feels so stupid, so pathetic, so monumentally small, that he can't help but latch onto cellar's hands like a life line. ]
No, I just--I don't know. Things have felt different here, and I guess I got it into my head that it was mutual or something insane like that. But- he didn't want to know, and that's seriously...it's okay, you know? We're still friends.
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Baking, God, if you figure it out you've got to clue me in. It's all a mystery to me.
[ magic is a good topic though, nice and safe. nick can smile and actually mean it, because he's been working very hard, actually, even if he'd hate to admit it. ]
It's like--I mean it's going slow, I haven't like, actually tried to learn anything new in years, but it's cool, right? Like, getting better or whatever, I like it. Maybe I should've stayed in school.
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I know, right? Might as well be witchcr—
[ Wait. She frowns and shakes her head. ]
Never mind.
[ Back to the real topic, for now. Cellar clears her throat after a double-dip of vodka; it's all Nick's again. ]
Can you go back? Well — whenever you leave this place, anyway. You didn't get kicked out of school, did you?
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[ nick is long past this topic stinging — it's been years, and anyway he made his choices — but there's always a part of him that wonders what if. of course there is, how could he not? but he's already spent too much time mulling in what if's lately, so he just shrugs and punctuates his sentence with a swig.
and another, and a quicker third for good measure before cellar gets it back. ]
No, when I get back I'm just going to just...go back to my apartment and throw a huge fucking party, that'll do me. [ he shifts in a little closer, ineffective since they're already pretty much pressed by each other's sides, but nick tries to burrow in a little closer all the same. ] What about you, what's your like--big to-do list items when you get back?
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Cellar wraps her arms around him, one across his chest, squeezing with her shoulders inched up. Nick talks about throwing a party and makes it sound like a lonely affair. (She should probably stop projecting.) The bottle is hers again, but it'll have to wait, carefully balanced on her lap and against her stomach. ]
Go back to work. That's all I can do.
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[ there's a temptation of his own, to say that there must be more, that can't be all there is, but optimism escapes him right now. nick knows his own life too well to say with any certainty that there has to be something better that she's going to return home to.
instead he just hugs her back, arm slung around her waist, and it's very, very hard to smile at all, actually. ]
I'd invite you, if I could. If we work out how, you're top of the guest list.
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[ Now that'd be a party. She already promised Theo she'd find him in this life or his next; she's got about a century and then a perfectly regular amount of time after to do all that. Thing is it's a promise that hinges on no guarantees; this place is a convergence of every other place, seems like, and something tells her she and her roommate didn't step in through the same door. ]
Theo's magic, too. He's also trying to learn. [ And being held back by someone else's spell. ] Want me to ask if he's looking for a study buddy?
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[ he's not being intentionally vague, so much as nick has no idea how much of it all everyone is aware of. secrets aren't his to share, and pierce established long before any of them arrived that a snitch was basically the worst thing that a person could be in their eyes.
but, a vague enough mention that cellar will presumably be able to put together the dots on what magical problem nick might be referring to, nonspecific enough that it'll mean nothing if she doesn't. ]
It's- well, me and August.
[ except for the part where nick can't even say his name without having to sound the syllables out carefully, so he's not sure how he's supposed to go back to magical problem solving, but...he'll figure it out. ]
Oli asked us, have you met him?
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Oli? I think so, yeah. Theo mentioned knowing someone with that name.
[ And that he looked just like Theo before his first death. ]
That's great, Nick. I'm — that makes me really happy. I hope you guys find a way.
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[ well. that pretty much puts that issue to bed, because there's no way that nick isn't going to figure out a way to swallow down his issues now. she had just perked up so quickly — and it's not like nick hadn't had an idea of what breaking this deal might mean for theo before, but it hits home in a different way, seeing cellar happy just at the thought that nick and august might be able to fix it.
he'd be lying if he tried to claim there isn't a stubborn and very annoying lump in his throat that he can't quite work around, but that's--a problem for another day, for nick to figure out how to live with. for now he just finds her hand to give it a squeeze, smiling in a way that he hopes is reassuring. ]
If there's a way to fix it, we'll figure it out, promise.
[ and then he's breaking the mood by going back to reaching for the vodka, because nick is not drunk enough yet by far. ]
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[ Her way of saying it isn't about her. She has a solution, too, one that would cost Theo a century and save everyone else a lot of trouble, but Cellar doesn't know if she could do that to him. Or is her hesitation is the selfish part?
She waits for the next break from that bottle. ]
You guys all know each other from home, right?
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[ maybe he should. it feels cruel to bring the matter up before they have anything concrete to work with, but maybe assurances would be enough. nick doesn't know. at any rate, he's at least steeled in his resolve to check his personal issues at the door. there are bigger matters at hand here than whether or not nick got his feelings hurt for no reason. ]
Yeah, we go back. Pierce and Oli, I've known them since school, Marco a little before. August...we were kids together. I think--well I'm pretty sure I'd be a mess if they weren't all here.
[ he loves all of them, he really does. that much is beyond clear every time nick talks about his friends.
another slug, totally unrelated, and then he's holding the bottle out again — not particularly pushy, if cellar doesn't take it back then nick is happy to just...keep drinking himself. ]
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Be right back.
[ Releasing Nick from the arm around his back, bottle in his possession for the nth time, Cellar hops off the bed to rummage through some drawers. Pretzels and pringles, tossed onto the mattress before she follows suit, have their packages open and placed between where they're sat. Cellar crosses her legs, feet under her thighs. The first chip goes in her mouth. ]
I get it. I know this place isn't exactly paradise, but… I'm not gonna pretend I don't wish my people were here, too.
[ She looks over her shoulder, smiling. ]
I didn't know you and August 've been together that long. That's really cool.
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[ nick knows he jumped in too quick, a knee jerk reaction that he can't stop from tumbling out, and then the rest of the sentence just sort of fumbles his way out. god knows there's every chance that cellar wasn't even implying anything at all.
it's easy enough to shut his mouth up with the bottle though, tipping his head back for a longer swig. it doesn't really help, but the bitter bite of alcohol in the back of his throat is a good distraction, and it's a better excuse for why he needs to cough and clear his throat than anything that nick could have come up with. ]
Since we were like ten, so...yeah.
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Reaching for the bottle, munching, ] Kinda hard to picture him as a kid, I'm not gonna lie. How'd you meet?
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I was being nosy. I heard my parents talking about a kid around my age up at the Moreau place, I wanted to see who it was. It was--so stupid actually, I pretended to fall off my bike so I had an excuse to go up to the house. He wasn't so quiet, back then.
[ nick doesn't particularly want to eat, his stomach is churning too much for that, but he grabs a bag to fumble with opening it, just to give his hands something to do. ]
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She decides to spare him. This time. Sort of. ]
That's — so fucking cute. What happened then?
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His mom answered. I think she was just happy she'd found him a friend so quickly, I don't think August even got a choice before he was getting shoved off to hang out with me. And then I decided we were going to be best friends, and...we were. It was simple.
[ 'was' being the operative word there, but he tries not to stress it too much. ]
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When's the first time you kissed?
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Fourteen, I think. I don't know, I--kissed him all the time, you know, on the cheek, on the face. I don't really remember the first time it was anything more.
[ he does, of course. nick very clearly remembers the freezing cold night and how he'd laughed as he made excuses to bundle up next to august, and he remembers the calculated way he wrapped an arm around his neck, and the way august had touched his cheek just before he kissed him. but nick already sounds hoarse just saying that much, and he's pretty sure that he's not going to be able to keep choking this back much longer if he doesn't shut the fuck up soon. ]
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Aww—!
[ Oops, she made the sound. RIP. ]
You were high school sweethearts!
[ But he doesn't. Sound very fond of that memory? And he's talking about them being best friends now, which obviously means they broke up. That deserves a different tone of aw, but at least they kept their friendship. (Wow Cellar ur so smart with all these assumptions haha) ]
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Yeah, no, that's- that's not happening. Don't— it's actually fine, you know?
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Wait, what do you mean?
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[ this would probably be much more believable if nick didn't have his hand jammed over his mouth, words half muffled through his fingers. he's just--been trying really hard not to be so fucking sad about this, but it's getting harder and harder as each hour passes. he isn't crying, which feels like some small achievement at least, but there's no denying that he's right on the precipice. ]
We just...I don't know, I got the wrong idea, I guess. I knew, really, so I don't know why I said anything.
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[ Yeah, she's taking that bottle and putting it on the bedside table now. Get out of here. Cellar crouches and sits on her legs next, taking one hand, then the other. He doesn't have to make eye contact, but she doesn't want him to think he has to hide. Voice softening, ]
Hey, what happened?
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[ nick doesn't want a sympathetic ear and a kind touch, not for a situation so entirely idiotic and of his own making — but he does, really, is the thing. nick has been choking this back on his own all day now, and as awful as he feels, there is some relief in finally just saying it. he just feels so stupid, so pathetic, so monumentally small, that he can't help but latch onto cellar's hands like a life line. ]
No, I just--I don't know. Things have felt different here, and I guess I got it into my head that it was mutual or something insane like that. But- he didn't want to know, and that's seriously...it's okay, you know? We're still friends.
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