[ Memories flood her head, her heart. Of the beast standing by August, who was surrounded by fire, covered in blood. Its teeth sinking into Cellar, breaking her even through the shield of her shadows.
[he realizes, belatedly, through the heartbreak for cellar and the messages he's had to send out that the apology means nothing if he doesn't say it out loud. he calls her, and when she picks up he sounds defeated.]
I'm so sorry, Cellar.
[sorry he has to keep apologizing, sorry he probably killed her friends and made a spectacle out of them, sorry she trusted him to begin with.]
[ She's so nervous when she picks up the call, and this time she can't stop herself from biting her nails. It can't be him, she says, but that's crushed under the weight of it can.
And then she finds herself begging that he didn't do it to the ones she loves, the ones she cried about in his arms. ]
I spent years mastering them. It's not possible for someone to figure it out in a day unless they were skilled in conjuring already.
[and he sounds so sure, so certain of his nature, having already thought of every reason how he's responsible. august is easy to frame when it comes to magical violence, and if factors such as memory loss and powers returning during the kills weren't involved, he'd be less likely to take the hit.
but here, he feels cornered. backed against a wall with damning evidence.]
[ And she lets out a breath. Heartbroken, hurt, trapped.
She thinks about Jem. How much she wanted to defend Danny despite all the evidence, how hurt she was when Cellar pressed on and made the accusation that condemned him. She thinks of the situation being reversed, someone accusing August after this information comes out. Cellar has said this whole time that she wants the killers to be locked away. That if it was her, if she saw evidence that her shadows had hurt someone, she'd accept her name being on the table.
But someone she loves?
Her voice is small, fighting back tears for the nth time in the last few days. ]
[it's easy for him to say 'put me away' because he's suspected himself this whole time. parts of him are vicious and evil and deserve to be locked in a cage. he accepts the fate he thinks he deserves, accepts the facts that he may be the one to kill her friends. but cellar doesn't want him to be that person, he can hear it, even when she's asking for advice. this isn't easy for her— not like it was danny, when her sense for justice and anger fueled her.]
What you have to do. I can't accuse myself, and voting for myself didn't work either. I won't make you do it, if someone else can. That's all it should take.
[ This place, this fucking place. They never should have come here. She wants to believe that the house was keeping them there to protect them from these trials, but this is just a repeat of what happened within its grounds. There's no shore to swim to, only an ocean of misery.
After a long pause, sobbing, trying to be strong, ]
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
@september
i have to tell you something.
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you can tell me
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fire magic.
i think it's me.
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And yet all she can think is no; please, no. ]
the hellhounds?
switched to voice
I'm so sorry, Cellar.
[sorry he has to keep apologizing, sorry he probably killed her friends and made a spectacle out of them, sorry she trusted him to begin with.]
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And then she finds herself begging that he didn't do it to the ones she loves, the ones she cried about in his arms. ]
Are you really sure, August?
There's no one else who could have summoned them?
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[and he sounds so sure, so certain of his nature, having already thought of every reason how he's responsible. august is easy to frame when it comes to magical violence, and if factors such as memory loss and powers returning during the kills weren't involved, he'd be less likely to take the hit.
but here, he feels cornered. backed against a wall with damning evidence.]
no subject
She thinks about Jem. How much she wanted to defend Danny despite all the evidence, how hurt she was when Cellar pressed on and made the accusation that condemned him. She thinks of the situation being reversed, someone accusing August after this information comes out. Cellar has said this whole time that she wants the killers to be locked away. That if it was her, if she saw evidence that her shadows had hurt someone, she'd accept her name being on the table.
But someone she loves?
Her voice is small, fighting back tears for the nth time in the last few days. ]
What do we do?
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What you have to do. I can't accuse myself, and voting for myself didn't work either. I won't make you do it, if someone else can. That's all it should take.
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[ This place, this fucking place. They never should have come here. She wants to believe that the house was keeping them there to protect them from these trials, but this is just a repeat of what happened within its grounds. There's no shore to swim to, only an ocean of misery.
After a long pause, sobbing, trying to be strong, ]
I-I'll talk to the others. Devon and Neon.
[ Turns out they'll talk to her first. ]
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Okay. Stick with them, I don't want anything to happen to you.