[ Shadowheart doesn’t mean to pry, with the letters—has decided not to read most, despite their general visibility, because mourning feels private and personal and this place has made a grotesquerie of death that she’s all too familiar with.
But she’s glanced at Saber’s few, expecting schadenfreude or something like justice, and instead Cellar’s makes something twist inside her.
Shadowheart might be the last person she wants to hear from, after her public headhunt with Jinx. And she hasn’t ruled herself out for his killing yet, entirely. But she sends her a message, all the same. ]
back home he was not more contained but we had different rules that he followed and ever since coming here he's been acting like those rules don't exist anymore
he was nice to me in his fucked up way but he treated me different than the others and i guess i took advantage of that sometimes
like there was some power in seeing him treat everyone else like shit but not me
we didn't have a relationship or anything it wasn't like that
[ As much as he wanted to, Cellar always kept him from succeeding. Until they came to this place, and that was fueled by delirium, and it never happened again. ]
he's a mentor to agents back home he saved my life once
[ He treated me different than the others. Shadowheart doesn’t think Saber treats her differently than the other women he uses, here—the stud in her tongue pressed to the roof of her mouth, thoughtful. Last month had been the exception, enmeshed as they were: her emotions in him, his hunger in her.
She’s just a conquest, isn’t she? And he’ll get bored of her, eventually. Shadowheart doesn’t like the way that thought curdles in her stomach, like it matters to her. Like it’ll hurt.
She has so many questions, but there’s one thing that sticks out to her more than the others. ]
yeah i was on a solo mission that went really wrong i got a broken leg and couldn't make it back to base i didn't want to tell my mentor and the one guy that's supposed to heal us was an asshole because he didn't feel like coming out to help me so i texted saber told him where i was he drove all the way to help me healed me on the spot, too
[ She can't lie. For Shadowheart's sake, she can't even say in a fucked up way, maybe. Sometimes doing the right thing just happens to coincide with his interests, that's all. Most of the time it doesn't, and he could just as easily have left her to rot out there. ]
i don't think he knows how. i don't think he's ever felt the need to try.
but you can't call him that again i don't know if he explained the rules from back home using our real names is really fucking bad for us we have to use the ones raíz gave us
raíz is our boss she's a being that's beyond our world maybe beyond any world and she chose some of us to work for her in exchange for a wish
she has a bunch of rules we have to follow one of them is using the names she gives us we're always named after animals cellar spider, saber tooth, devon rex, neon tetra we're all from the same place
she's powerful enough that she could show up here and leave if she wanted to
[ Shadowheart hears the parallels with the Cloister, with Shar in some of what Cellar's saying. Wonders if Raíz would be to them as the gods are on Faerûn.
She sends the question before considering how much Cellar has already given her, when she's no doubt grieving, when Shadowheart isn't certain she'd share this much with someone she hardly knows--and a few months ago, she knows she wouldn't have. ]
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
text @shadowheart
But she’s glanced at Saber’s few, expecting schadenfreude or something like justice, and instead Cellar’s makes something twist inside her.
Shadowheart might be the last person she wants to hear from, after her public headhunt with Jinx. And she hasn’t ruled herself out for his killing yet, entirely. But she sends her a message, all the same. ]
Did you know Saber well?
no subject
[ For better or for a lot, lot worse. ]
we're from the same world
we've been living in the same place for years
we worked together
no subject
[ As she’s sure she already knows. Saber was Shadowheart’s poorly-kept secret, and the cult blew it open. ]
Could you—
tell me about him?
In your words.
no subject
back home he was
not more contained but we had different rules that he followed
and ever since coming here he's been acting like those rules don't exist anymore
he was nice to me
in his fucked up way
but he treated me different than the others
and i guess i took advantage of that sometimes
like there was some power in seeing him treat everyone else like shit but not me
we didn't
have a relationship or anything
it wasn't like that
[ As much as he wanted to, Cellar always kept him from succeeding. Until they came to this place, and that was fueled by delirium, and it never happened again. ]
he's a mentor to agents back home
he saved my life once
no subject
She’s just a conquest, isn’t she? And he’ll get bored of her, eventually. Shadowheart doesn’t like the way that thought curdles in her stomach, like it matters to her. Like it’ll hurt.
She has so many questions, but there’s one thing that sticks out to her more than the others. ]
He saved your life?
no subject
i was on a solo mission that went really wrong
i got a broken leg and couldn't make it back to base
i didn't want to tell my mentor and the one guy that's supposed to heal us was an asshole because he didn't feel like coming out to help me
so i texted saber
told him where i was
he drove all the way to help me
healed me on the spot, too
no subject
he’s capable of caring for people?
[ And then, considering, ]
I called him Henry, once. After that month when we were—our other selves.
I think he wanted to kill me for it.
no subject
i don't think he knows how.
i don't think he's ever felt the need to try.
but you can't call him that again
i don't know if he explained the rules from back home
using our real names is really fucking bad for us
we have to use the ones raíz gave us
okay?
no subject
[ More for Cellar's sake than Saber's. ]
He's never really told me anything about himself, or his past. All I have are the places we bled together last month, through the bond.
Who's Raíz?
no subject
she's a being that's beyond our world
maybe beyond any world
and she chose some of us to work for her in exchange for a wish
she has a bunch of rules we have to follow
one of them is using the names she gives us
we're always named after animals
cellar spider, saber tooth, devon rex, neon tetra
we're all from the same place
she's powerful enough that she could show up here and leave if she wanted to
no subject
She sends the question before considering how much Cellar has already given her, when she's no doubt grieving, when Shadowheart isn't certain she'd share this much with someone she hardly knows--and a few months ago, she knows she wouldn't have. ]
What was your wish?
no subject
i don't remember
none of us do
once we sign the blood pact she makes us forget that, too
here's to hoping it was worth it, right?