iiii am thinking about going back to the place where i was attacked and ask august to go with me it's been kinda on my mind a lot? idk if it's because some time passed and whatever place i shoved the memory into threw it back out is that a really fucking bad idea or do you think it'd help?
just closure, i think i'm not afraid of it and i'm not afraid of him it just feels like otherwise it's gonna be in limbo inside my head does that make sense at all?
[ They have snacks! They have booze! They smooch and cuddle and play with each other's hair. Her turn to be the big spoon, she hugs Theo tight and sighs, relaxed. A little muffled, ]
[Theo is also an octopus, somehow entwined with her even as little spoon. He tilts his head, looking back - before shifting to roll over. Spoon facing spoon, she's got his attention.]
[ There are a bunch of little different expressions, playing with Theo's fingers instead of his hair, looking at them to avoid eye contact. She shrugs one shoulder. ]
I don't really… Top. As you know. [ Brilliant start. ] I don't hate the idea of it, but it's not something I can do on my own, and then people get weird about it, so I don't really bring it up. Also, like, it's just something that's really intimate for me?
[ Now she's searching his features, knowing this is probably not something she needs to be nervous about. Not with him. ]
Which is why I think I'd really like to do it with you. If you want.
[Theo watches every shift - every eyelash, every shift of her lips as she speaks. His eyes are dark and attentive, and slowly he puts his elbow under him to leverage a little height - lifting his head, but staying on his side next to her. He smiles because he feels lucky to be trusted, lucky to be loved by someone who would then put so much trust into him.]
[ She presses her lips in what looks like a smirk and is actually barely contained affection. Hair brushed behind her ear, Cellar lifts herself a little bit, too. ]
I need to get something like sildenafil? They probably have it at the clinic. Most of the other stuff is just what we already do. Except the other way around, I guess.
[ Not a laugh, but almost. She leans in for a kiss, leans back to the same position. ]
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am thinking about going back to the place where i was attacked
and ask august to go with me
it's been kinda on my mind a lot?
idk if it's because some time passed and whatever place i shoved the memory into threw it back out
is that a really fucking bad idea or do you think it'd help?
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is it to conquer a fear? shake a bad feeling?
closure?
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just closure, i think
i'm not afraid of it and i'm not afraid of him
it just feels like otherwise it's gonna be in limbo inside my head
does that make sense at all?
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i think as long as you have a reason
or know it...
it's not a bad idea
at the very least, not the worst?
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not the worst idea
i like that, i'm gonna start using it :)
i think i'll ask him then
idk still gonna think about it for a bit!
this stupid saga needs to end
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i can be here any time for you, when you're back
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this makes me think about smthn too
not sure i'm as brave as you though
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yeah? tell me
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it's not exactly closure but it's a fear facing thing
again, not sure i want to go there yet but if there's anyone i would go there with
it'd be you
the first time i died, i was asphyxiated
so you can see why it's not on my kinklist?
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yeah
that would make sense
[ understatement of the year, and the year's barely started ]
what got you thinking about it?
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that kink post?
[aaaand maybe having had some reckless sex that could've been Uncool quick if this had happened...]
idk
we can forget about it actually
aaa
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i mean there's no pressure or anything just
as long as you feel safe
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if i don't chicken out.
sometime.
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thank you for telling me
you can trust me w anything i promise
[ A little while later... ]
i've
also been thinking about something else
it doesn't have anything to do with kink but like
it's still about sex
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shoot, i'm listening
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actually can it be whenever you get back?
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i'm heading that way
[With booze because he needed it, and now with snacks because he wants to dote on his wife.]
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So, uhm. That thing I was thinking about earlier?
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Yeah?
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I don't really… Top. As you know. [ Brilliant start. ] I don't hate the idea of it, but it's not something I can do on my own, and then people get weird about it, so I don't really bring it up. Also, like, it's just something that's really intimate for me?
[ Now she's searching his features, knowing this is probably not something she needs to be nervous about. Not with him. ]
Which is why I think I'd really like to do it with you. If you want.
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Yeah?
[He nods, just barely.]
What would we need to do to get it done?
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I need to get something like sildenafil? They probably have it at the clinic. Most of the other stuff is just what we already do. Except the other way around, I guess.
[ Not a laugh, but almost. She leans in for a kiss, leans back to the same position. ]
Do you wanna do it?
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[How do you say "there's no sex with you I wouldn't want to do"?]
We can go shopping tomorrow? Not - no rush, or anything. Just... so we have it in our back pocket for whenever we wanna do it? 'Cause I wanna do it.
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[ What's that? Another kiss? She has Can't Stop Smiling disease, oh no. ]
… Thanks, Teddie. I didn't know how you'd react.
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